The long awaited massage board saga
OK, so I haven’t blogged about this yet, because I just simply didn’t know what to say or how to put what I was thinking about it into words. Those of you who read my twitter know most of the story, but not everybody uses or reads twitter, so I’m going to tell it from the beginning.
Back at the end of January, as you all know, I took a day off, and a nice road trip to Siracuse to take the New York State Boards exam for massage therapy. I was anxious about it from start to finish. The night before, I tried things from drinking a bunch of martinis and smernoff wine coolers, to going swimming in the hotel’s pool. I was instructed by the loving boyfriend that under no circumstances was I to study that night, as I’d been studying like a maniac up until that point. But after my very much needed swim, I went back to my room to find my roommate, emily either headed toward slumber, or already there. So I left so as not to disturbe her, and ended up in another student’s room, doing sed forbidden studying. We didn’t study long though. We ended up talking, somebody got a massage, and I eventually went to bed.
The next morning I was up, showered and full from a nice breakfast, and ready to go. You all hav eno idea how nervous I was that day. I think I was so nervous I ended up getting some questions wrong just because of that. I knew I missed a few, but was unsure as to just how many I missed.
I ended up riding with some of the day students, so my classmates showed up later, and they were all pretty nervous, and afterword, angry about how the test was written. My friend, Mike was especially nervous, as he’s hoping to make a solid career out of it.
We drove home in the midst of a nice snow storm. Mother nature had decided to freak us all out, I guess so we could forget about the test and all the questions we got wrong. I got home, called James, and balled my eyes out, thinking I was a complete loser, and that I’d never amount to anything.
Well, time went on, I started hanging with Heather, and learning magic and things, I tried my best not to think about the test or what the results would be. In March, I finally got the results. I didn’t know how to read it, so I called Heather and had her come over. Guys, I failed. Not by much; only two bloody points, but nonetheless, I failed. Heather came over and read it. I cried on her shoulder. She left, I called James at his mother’s place, interrupting family time and told him while balling. Hung up, cried my eyes out again, and the next night, I skipped the country. Granted, the vacation was planned, but still.
So, after the vacation, and all the enitial “oh shit, I failed.” I got help filling out the form to challenge the exam. Turns out that mike only missed his by one point, so he also had applied to challenge it as well, so we decided we’d ride down together. I went doan at the end of april to Albany with Mike to challenge it, and most of those questions, I just kept thinking “I’m such a dumb ass.” I kept wondering why I picked some of the answers I picked, and recognizing that it had to be nothing but nerves, because I knew the shit. I ended up challenging a couple, but I got the latter last week, and low and behold, no change. Same with old Mike.
So…we’re going for the retake in August. I’m going to study like a bloody maniac, try not to be so nervous–fat chance–and pass this bloody thing if it kills me.
I’ll go on with my original plan; find some kind of work in a spa, or something until I either start my own business, or end up in Ontario, so at least I’ll have something to show. I know I’m not a loser. I know my stuff, because if I didn’t, I would ahve failed by a lot more, and wouldn’t have retaken it. Part of me thought of not retaking it, but I kept hearing my late father’s voice saying “I didn’t raise a quitter.” Yah, sometimes it’s hard to keep pushing, but we have to, or we won’t move foreword.
So…please, I need good thoughts, positive energy, ECT., Because I’m going to need it. And…I look foreword to another roadtrip with Mike, and maybe the beatles. LOL!
I’m glad you decided to retake the test.
I know you’ll do great
Jessica you poor thing it is all right and next time you will get it all right third time is a charm. case in point I had had my drivers license in california for about 20 years and had to renew it. took me three times to pass the silly test yup and then the clerk actually helped me cuz i had missed it by one question and she remembered me from the first two times. i have been married three times and the third time is the best. in august you will be fine it will be summer relaxed days and it is not a matter of not knowing the answers it is trying to hard not to fail. remember to breath and you will be fine. hope these few words help and am thinking of you and sharing what positive energy i have.
thank you. That was very encouraging. I know about the marriage thing too. I was married once before, and it didn’t work. I guess we have to try something a couple of times sometimes to get it right.