Life in the Nuthouse

Dear universe and to any god or goddess that is listening,

I’m not sure how close to the full moon we are, but I feel I need to make an appeal to whoever is listening. So summer is…well…pretty much here. OK, so it doesn’t officially start until June 21st, but work with me here, dammit! I’m watching the weather get nice, people are out doing things, I guess I’m really feelin the summer spirit here. I was home and bored today, and looked at the strictly plutonic section of our local craig’s list, and I was surprised to se so many others looking for exactly the same thing. It makes me want to go swimming, go on boat rides, go to water parks, go walking, get hit by random water balloons or squert guns, ECT. Now, doing sed things is really boring when done alone, you know. What I’m asking for is a group of people with whom to do some or all these things with. It doesn’t have to be just one person all of the time, because I am well aware that people can’t have fun every weekend, but I’m just asking for a few people to come in my life who are interested in doing random and fun summer-type things on the weekends instead of sitting at home. It doesn’t even have to be every weekend, but I’m just looking to have fun this summer and enjoy good times with good company. Please don’t make me have to do an add on craig’s list, because…that could sometimes be, um…scary. Oh, and to any deities that deal with money? a little extra of that wouldn’t hurt either.
Lots of love and faithfulness,
One loan subject who has too much energy bottled up.

Someone put this little article on twitter a couple weeks ago, and automaticly, I thought of James. James is openly, and prowdly a geek, and he will happily tell you so. Now, I wasn’t specificly looking for a “geek” for a boyfriend when we met. Actually, I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend at all. But nonethe less, it happened, and I just want to illaborate on just how geeky he is.

This list was found on the following website

http://tr.im/KSRQ

Accept for my commentary, of course.

1. They are so busy with their Computers that they don’t have all the time in the world to think about other girls. Thus, they won’t ditch you for any other girl. So, you don’t need to be unsecured.
Everytime I call him, I’m either waking him up, or pulling him away from reading about the latest technological wonder, or trying to fix something that went south, or installing something new on his computer, or his lap top, which he has installed Linux on. I never hear him say, “Talking to Jill, or bertha, or ethel,” or any other random girl’s name you want to insert in there. Usually if I do interrupt a call, it’s with his mother.

2. They are technically sound! In this age of technology, they can work with any given gadget. So, if you happen to mess up with a gizmo, they can fix it
for you with ease. So, No wasting money on repairing gadgets.
Jaws ten with Tandom has become my best friend. There have been times when I’ve had him on tandom while I was either in the shower or getting ready for something, because something went ker-bork on my end, and I needed him to fix it. There ahve been times when things have gone ker-bork while he’s been sleeping, or out with his family, and I feel absolutely lost not being able to tell him “James I love you. My tw Inbox is doing such and such.” or “James…honey…sweety…my email won’t send anything or recieve anything can you fix it for me?” When he’s here on one of his many visits, he’s finding something that broke on my computer, and fixes it without duress.

3. They are intelligent and they know what they are talking about. So, you don’t need to act as if you are convinced, when you are actually not! They can explain everything what they are talking about[mostly with solid proofs]. They can impress your parents or any other knowledgeable person with their wisdom and knowledge, not like any other Sexy looking loser.
Everytime James and our friend Kim get together, technology almost always comes up, as Kim works for the IT department where I work. They’re always talking about what they know about this or that, While Julie and I jsut look at each other and go “yah, OK.” There are times when we’re on the phone, and I’ll just listen to him talk about something linux related or server related and say yah, OK. He always thinks I’m waiting for him to shut up, when I’m really not. He hasn’t talked tech with my mother yet. He hasn’t talked about anything with my mother for that matter, as they’ve never met, but I wonder how impressed she’d be.

4. In this Computer-based world, Geeks are greatly in demand for Jobs. So, they earn quite well or are bound to make good money
in the future. So, No future worries!
Unfortunately, his line of work hasn’t yielded many results in his area, so he doesn’t have a job at this point, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been out pounding the pavement. He did work for Dell for a while until they closed his office, and made a comfortable enough sallery. But I’m not worried about the money, I’m only worried about the computer knowledge. LOL!

5. You don’t need to wear good clothes and have a facial done every 2 weeks. They don’t really care about how you look, as far as they are sure that you
love them. Some of them may talk about your looks, but it is not really in their nature.
James doesn’t care about the fact that I hate facials and har appointments every week. He jsut thinks I should pamper myself, but he doesn’t care. He’s told me I look good, but keep in mind, he’s totally blind. I think if he did get any sight he’d look at me, and throw up. Afterwords wondering why he ever thought I was pretty. LOL!

6. They will give you a gift which you can show-off to the world. Mostly, the gifts would be like the latest
Apple iPod
or the newest Mobile phone in the market. It may also be a lovely website with the photos of you and him linking to
geeky poems
which will be difficult for you to understand.(but that’s okay!). You don’t need to hide their gifts from everyone as they are not going to be Sexy looking “Undies”.
He’s never bought me any electronics, although I would like a nice new PC or a nice new nokia E71 phone like he’s got. (I love you, James.) But I don’t think it’s going to happen. He hasn’t written me a geeky poem yet, but I imagine in time, with all the time he’s got on his hands, he’ll think of something. After all, he does do roleplaying, so he does have creativity.

7. If he goes missing, you don’t need worry about Police arresting him for misbehavior, after boozing on the streets! You can find him in some electronic Superstore geeking around with the latest
MacBook.
He doesn’t normally geek out in stores, probably because his options are limmitted as far as transportation goes right now, but I imagine he’ll be doing that once he’s able to get to his nearest computer store. As it is, he geeks out on the net. Just a couple weeks ago, he was up all night dreaming wistfully about a new desc top PC he found on the net, falling in love with every minute of reading about it and thinking about it. God only knows when I would have heard from him if he actually had the chance to play with the thing.

8. They don’t really have any dressing sense. So, you can always try and convince him on which clothes to buy. You surely have the upper hand when it comes to knowing about the latest fashion trends. And, they will obey your command quietly without asking to many questions, when it comes to the Fashion part.
OK, I’ll sum this up in just a few characters. When at home, boxers and only boxers. When out, jeans that may have at least one hole in them, shirt, one black sock and one white sock. Any questions?

9. They are loyal to you as they are to their Laptop! When they say that they need you more than the RAM in their
Desktop, they really mean that they love you and need you  for their life!
James doesn’t complain about the ram in his desc top, and he has been a bit neglectful of his lap top lately. So actually, he’s been more attentive and loyal to me than with his equipment.

10. Even though their sense of romance is quite different, let me tell you…They are really good in Bed! (you need to accept this without any logical proof!
Urm, I’m not going to give any details here, but let me just say this one thing. I am quite happy with the, um, network connection, and the plugs have as much electricity as they need. Just sayin.

So I was doing so well last night. Seems that every night, I forget to load my coffee maker, because either I’m just too tired from being up and on the phone with James until 2 in the morning, or I’m just plum lazy or forgetful. Last night was a rarity, as after hanging up with the afor mentioned loving boyfriend, I remembered, and had just enough energy to load my faithful, but so rarely used MR. Coffee with a couple of scoops of Tim Horton’s coffee that sed loving boyfriend had brought down on one of his visits across the border. My alarm went off at exactly 6:30 this morning. I woke happy, refreshed, and ready for a jolting cup of Tim Hortons coffee and some breakfast before leaving for another day at the office. I was even gitty with the prospect of being able to deploy Bubba, my 64-ounce coffee mugt for the task of supplying me with another jolt of Tim Hortons coffee while at the office. So I turned on my coffee maker, and went to de-skankify myself in the shower. I got dressed, threw one of those Jimmy Deans ham and cheese sandwiches in old Mike, being careful not to over cook it as I had done yesterday morning. I tweeted, to say good morning to the world, because I do that kind of thing, even though it was too-goddam-early o’clock in the morning, and then went for my awaiting jolt of coffee. I turned off the pot as it was done, and went in search of Bubba. Guess what! Drum role please—no bubba. I searched high and low in every nook and cranny of my kitchen, not that there’s many nooks and crannies in my kitchen to start with, and still no bubba. The only thing I learned from this search is that I have entirely too much Bacardi rum and different brands of Vodka in my house. I need a new hobby. But I digress. So, I finally resigned myself to the fact that even though I had made an entire pot of coffee, I was going to have to use one of my lidless coffee mugs, which is much smaller, and I would only get the amount of coffee I’d have time to drink before parastranded showed up; thus waisting practically an entire pot of coffee. After resigning myself to this fact, I made a vow that war was eminent. I would begin my battle with my refrigerator when I got home.
Now, my refrigerator works. Don’t get me wrong. But, it’s a big and clunky thing, and won’t go all the way in between my counter and part of the wall on the other side, so it sticks out. This usually isn’t a problem, accept that the reason it won’t go in is because there’s something sticking out on the back of it, on the bottom that prevents it from doing so. The result is a huge space between the back wall, and the fridge. Therefore, when something falls off of that counter, it is lost forever behind sed fridge until I have either a chair or a loving boyfriend to boost me up so I can reach the missing object. Don’t make me tell the bread story, please.
All day long at work I suffered from an ear worm. All I kept hearing was Cheech and Chong’s “Basketball Jones.” only Basketball was replaced with Tim Horton’s coffee.
So, after returning from work and doing one more search through my tupperwar cupboard and make-shift bar, I began planning my stratagy. I started with the dining room chair. I got up on sed chair, tried to reach between the wall and the fridge, and no go. I don’t have inspector Gaget arms, unfortunately, so I just couldn’t reach the floor from that angle. So then I decided to try and use my dust pan as a scoop. From assessing the situation with my broom, I discovered that there were coke cans back there anyway, so I figured I needed to get them out before something weird happened and they melted or something. So I grabbed Mr. Dust pan, got back on the chair and did my search again, only with my arm twisted in weird ways this time so I can move the dust pan. That was no go either, as my right upper trapezius was starting to get really pissy with me, because it was knotting up. So I knew then, after massaging sed trapezius, that I needed to think of a new strategy. I dismissed Mr. dust pan and Mr. Chair, and decided to face this battle woman to fridge alone. I unplugged old mike, grabbed my fridge on both sides, and began twisting and pulling. Luckily, I have lenolium flors, so it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Plus, I have no more psycho downstairs neighbor to protest and get pissy at me for making too much noise. I pulled my fridge out enough that I had room to squeeze between it and the counter, and, dum-dum-dum—low and behold—there, sitting pretty as you please, was my good and faithful servant, bubba, right there in plain view. I retrieved him, and then commenced to the task of putting things back where they were before this whole battle started. So, I now have bubba again, although he could use a bath, and my fridge is back in it’s place, standing against the wall in defeat, and old Mike is plugged back in and in working order. My only casualty? Well, that would be the soar shoulder, and right side of neck due to very pissy trapezius.
As I finished pushing the enemy back in it’s place, I said, “Who needs a man when I’ve got strong arms and can battle this alone?” But then I thought about it, and realized that there are many many other reasons why I keep James around, and decided I would still continue to do so. Besides, he’s my connection when I want to score some more Tim Hortons coffee.

Anyone that knows me knows at least two things about me. 1, I’m a self diagnosed and self proclaimed food whore, and 2, I am always willing to think outside the box and try new things. For years I’ve heard various things about sushi. Either it was nasty, because it was raw fish and could get you sick, or it was the most awesome thing next to sex. So my friend, Heather and I got to texting one day during my lunch about where we all could go out to eat that night while James was still here. I told her I wanted to try sushi, sense people were either totally grossed out by it, or totally enamoured by it. There was never any in between. James wasn’t too keen on the idea, as his sense of adventure seemed to have gone off to some plannet in the neighboring universe. So Heather and I decided that we’d wait until he was gone, and we ended up doing steak that particular night.
So last week, I asked when we were getting together again, and she said that she had some friends coming in from out of town, and they were planning on doing sushi. So I was all over that one. First off, I had to get past the fact that this particular restaurant refered to something spicey as “spank me.” Then, I had to decide what I wanted. I never was much of a fish eater, safe for salmon, tuna, and maybe cat fish if I was in the mood for it. I love my seafood, however. I had never tried squid, or eel, so I knew it was going to be hard to figure out. So I finally decided on the smoked salmon roll, the crunchy tuna roll, and the killer shrimp roll with that wasabi on it. Wasabi is a lot like horse raddish, and I absolutely love horse raddish, so I figured I’d be at home. When the rolls are brought out, you get chop sticks, which I have never had any experience with, and our plate is nothing more than a block of wood with these leggie things on the bottom. All the rolls everybody ordered came on one big ji-normous block of wood, that they placed in the middle of the table. The rolls were cut up into eight pieces, so Heather had to get mine for me, so I wouldn’t go grabbing everybody else’s. As a result of this, I got to try a piece of somebody’s squid roll, and somebody’s “spank me” eel roll. So you can safely say I got spanked. And what’s more, when you order drinks, they give you a little plate full of ginger leaves. I wanted to try some straight ginger, so I grabbed what I thought was a small piece, and ended up getting the jolt of my life. Note to self, Only eat one leaf of ginger.
All in all, it turned out to be an awesome meal, and an experience I’m sure I’ll be trying again. I was so stuffed after all that that I didn’t have room for desert. I would have loved to have found out what they had for deserts. I heard something about fried ice cream. Maybe I’ll get that next time. As for the rolls, I might do the eel next time, because it tasted awesome. I also might see with the crab and lobster ones taste like.