Life in the Nuthouse

So…tomorrow is it; The moment of truth. This is my second opportunity to take the New York state board exam for massage therapy. I decided at about 6:30 tonight that if I don’t know most of this stuff by now, I won’t know it…ever. It’s all lined up; Got the ride from the ever so generous fun, and not to mention wild and crazy Heather, got the fiance here to support me since he didn’t get to last time, all I need is…a miracle. So, Here goes the second time of nothing, and any thoughts/prayers/good energy is very much appreciated.
I have a lot lot lot to blog about, and I’m just figuring out how I’m going to do it, because it’s been so bloody long. But I will be posting something this weekend.

OK, so I haven’t blogged about this yet, because I just simply didn’t know what to say or how to put what I was thinking about it into words. Those of you who read my twitter know most of the story, but not everybody uses or reads twitter, so I’m going to tell it from the beginning.
Back at the end of January, as you all know, I took a day off, and a nice road trip to Siracuse to take the New York State Boards exam for massage therapy. I was anxious about it from start to finish. The night before, I tried things from drinking a bunch of martinis and smernoff wine coolers, to going swimming in the hotel’s pool. I was instructed by the loving boyfriend that under no circumstances was I to study that night, as I’d been studying like a maniac up until that point. But after my very much needed swim, I went back to my room to find my roommate, emily either headed toward slumber, or already there. So I left so as not to disturbe her, and ended up in another student’s room, doing sed forbidden studying. We didn’t study long though. We ended up talking, somebody got a massage, and I eventually went to bed.
The next morning I was up, showered and full from a nice breakfast, and ready to go. You all hav eno idea how nervous I was that day. I think I was so nervous I ended up getting some questions wrong just because of that. I knew I missed a few, but was unsure as to just how many I missed.
I ended up riding with some of the day students, so my classmates showed up later, and they were all pretty nervous, and afterword, angry about how the test was written. My friend, Mike was especially nervous, as he’s hoping to make a solid career out of it.
We drove home in the midst of a nice snow storm. Mother nature had decided to freak us all out, I guess so we could forget about the test and all the questions we got wrong. I got home, called James, and balled my eyes out, thinking I was a complete loser, and that I’d never amount to anything.
Well, time went on, I started hanging with Heather, and learning magic and things, I tried my best not to think about the test or what the results would be. In March, I finally got the results. I didn’t know how to read it, so I called Heather and had her come over. Guys, I failed. Not by much; only two bloody points, but nonetheless, I failed. Heather came over and read it. I cried on her shoulder. She left, I called James at his mother’s place, interrupting family time and told him while balling. Hung up, cried my eyes out again, and the next night, I skipped the country. Granted, the vacation was planned, but still.
So, after the vacation, and all the enitial “oh shit, I failed.” I got help filling out the form to challenge the exam. Turns out that mike only missed his by one point, so he also had applied to challenge it as well, so we decided we’d ride down together. I went doan at the end of april to Albany with Mike to challenge it, and most of those questions, I just kept thinking “I’m such a dumb ass.” I kept wondering why I picked some of the answers I picked, and recognizing that it had to be nothing but nerves, because I knew the shit. I ended up challenging a couple, but I got the latter last week, and low and behold, no change. Same with old Mike.
So…we’re going for the retake in August. I’m going to study like a bloody maniac, try not to be so nervous–fat chance–and pass this bloody thing if it kills me.
I’ll go on with my original plan; find some kind of work in a spa, or something until I either start my own business, or end up in Ontario, so at least I’ll have something to show. I know I’m not a loser. I know my stuff, because if I didn’t, I would ahve failed by a lot more, and wouldn’t have retaken it. Part of me thought of not retaking it, but I kept hearing my late father’s voice saying “I didn’t raise a quitter.” Yah, sometimes it’s hard to keep pushing, but we have to, or we won’t move foreword.
So…please, I need good thoughts, positive energy, ECT., Because I’m going to need it. And…I look foreword to another roadtrip with Mike, and maybe the beatles. LOL!

On Sunday night, I decided to say hi to someone I hadn’t talked to in a couple months, because she happened to be on MSN. She’s the girlfriend of a guy I’ve known for about sixteen or seventeen years or so, who has been in and out of my life, therefore we haven’t really gotten all that close as of late. I joined an email list last year, that they both happen to be on, and was introduced to her. She and I chat every once in a while on MSN, but it’s not like we’re best friends or anything.
Anyway, this particular night, I happened to be talking about taking the boards and then about my plans for the future. I happened to mention that I wanted to first, find someone to work for here, save mone, then eventually once James gets more settled with a permanent job, move up there. Her responce went something like this: “You’re going to go through all that hard work, then go to Canada?” Of course, I said yes, and do massage once I get to Canada. Then, she had to ask if James was working. I told her that he was having a hell of a time finding work so far, and that was why I’m not in a harry hurry to just randomly jump ship. Then, she started in about how there are no blindness programs or organizations in Canada. I informed her that James was not looking for a blindness related job, he’s looking for a tech job. Then she told em that there were no job services at all in Canada, and that if you aren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you’re treated pretty patheticly in her book. Apparently, she is of the mindset that one has to hook up with a blindness organization to do *anything* James and I are both perfectly capable of writing resumes, sending them to potential employers, and going to interviews. We don’t need some organization breathing down our backs, just because our eyes don’t work. Besides, half the organizations I’ve seen don’t even go out into the community and educate companies about adaptive technology, or blindness skills anyway. They learn from the individual person in interviews, and if they do get hired, they learn by watching them work.
This person thinks she’s trying to discourage me, because she is a canadian citizen who moved to the states, while her boyfriend, who she’s living with, works out of the home, and might lose the job he has. She and her boyfriend have told me, “Don’t think with your emotions.” When she’s the one who moved down there to be with him. Can we say hipocracy, boys and girls?
So yes, I’m going to stay with my plan, if I pass, and I still don’t know if I did, work for someone or keep the job I have now, save money, wait for James to find gainful employment, then make my move. Yes, I’m going to have to take editional tests once I get there to be licensed there, but they also might have me take editional classes, and oh, gee! I might learn something new> That would be horrible. As far as girlie, well, if she has a grudge about blindness services, or lack there of, in Canada, it’s a personal problem. But don’t sit there and tell me what to do and browbeat me because I have my own plans.

Yes, I know. It’s been almost a week since I’ve posted, but I guess I just wasn’t sure how to write a post about waiting for results to a test that was so unbelievably difficult, I’m not too confident that I did well.
That wednesday before, I was busy getting last minute things done before our little road trip. I was nervous about this since these girls weren’t part of my class, and I wasn’t sure how I would connect with them, but it ended up being a very fun and relaxing trip. I’d like to think I made a few friends out of the deal. First, after getting to Siracuse, we checked into our hotel rooms, I shared a room with Emily, who I had never met before, so I knew it would prove to be interesting. Turns out we thought a lot alike on different issues, and she was very easy to get along with.
After checking in to our rooms, we found a nice little restaurant and got us some serious grub. I ate so much I thought I was going to go splodie. It didn’t help when I decided to order desert and ended up with the hugest piece of cheese cake ever. It even prompted Regan to take a picture of it. She still hasn’t emailed me that picture, By the way. LOL! I also ended up having the equivalent of five margaritas and getting respectably buzzed by the time dinner was over.
After getting back, I found out where the pool was, so I took some me time and headed down there while Emily took a quick snooze. There was nobody else in there, thank God, and I was able to just relax and get my thoughts in order. Well, I tried to get my thoughts order as much as I could, since my entire career henges on this test. After relaxing all my muscles and getting out of the pool, however, it seemed like the cold and shivvering made them all tense up again. not to mention the fack that my buz had gone off somewhere on a permanent vacation.
I went back to our room, and after accidently waking Emily up, I changed back into my clothes, and went up to Michelle and Regan’s room for a little study fest. Joel had opened up www.massagenird.com and we were going through questions, and WTF-ing and their reasoning for some of their answers. Then, we all decided we were tested out, and we embarked on some rather random conversation which included things we might have accidently said or did to classmates during swedish class. I had to tell my story about how I offered to “suck” someone instead of “tuck” whild draping his leg. Regan got an arm massage, and I drank two bottles of smernof ice, and went back to my room for a good night’s sleep.
The next morning, Emily and I made our way down for the complamentary breakfast the hotel provided, and I didn’t eat much, because there really wasn’t a whole lot of a selection. I took the free shuttle service over to the testing site at about 10:30, becuase they wanted me there early, and was taken in almost immediately. My reader turned out to be a massage therapist herself. She was very pleasant, and helped me to stay relaxed through the whole thing. She was very patient with my constantly wanting her to repeat questions and answers, although sometimes I wondered if she was ready to grab me by the hair roots and fling me against the wall. LOL!
I was a bit sad when I got done, as I don’t think I did very well. While waiting for the others, I kind of did some reflecting on some of the questions and couldn’t seem to figure out where I went wrong, but I guess it’s just the feeling I got.
Everybody came out, and only two people from my class acknowledged me. They all preached about what a “team” or “family’ we were, and only two people actually talked to me.Later, after musing about it on the way home, Michelle said, “You can be part of our class then.” I thought that was sweet. Seemed like they were more fun and more personable anyway. But it was good to see Mike and Karen again, and I did find out onw question I got wrong. LOL! I just hope I didn’t miss more than 35.
After the four of us met again, we took the shuttle back to the hotel, got Michelle’s van, and made tracks for home. We stopped off at McDonalds long enough to grab some grub to go, and we were off. It was snowing and blowing pretty bad out there, which made the trip a bit interesting and nerve-racking, but we made it in one piece.
I came home, and started doing some serious reflecting on my life, balled my eyes out for a while, subjected poor James to my woes and sorrows, then went to bed, vowing not to think about it until I got my results.
As far as the results go? Well, I won’t know anything for eight weeks or so, but I’ll let you all know when I do find out my doom, ur, I mean, how well I did.

Last week was a long one for me. Even though I’d finished with all the papers, quizzes and exams, and homework, I still had to run all over the place inbetween my fulltime job and class. So I was most definitely ready for the weekend. I felt bad, because I was so tired with all the running around, that I barely had any energy to spend time with James when I got home. I felt like he came across the border for a month to visit me, and I was neglecting him.
Thursday night was my graduation. It was a good day, because not only was I celebrating having made it through a very long and challenging fifteen month program, but I would finally have weekends to myself, evenings to myself, I could actually have that thing called a social life again, and I’d actually be able to sleep for more than a few hours.
I had to go over to the school right after work for their little closure ceremony, which included a little bonding circle, which I didn’t feel bonded to anyway, making a dream catcher with our circle out of string, and cutting the pieces so each of us could take our piece home, learning about the allumni association, and walking in between two lines of fellow classmates with our eyes closed so they can touch us and whisper things they probably didn’t mean. Then, we had to do our class picture, and take more pictures if we felt compelled to.
The ceremony was nice. We were presented with our deplomas, we had recognition for those who exceled in the class, Mike, our most spunky of the droup, gave a speach and read a rather interesting poem, and two of our hands-on instructors gave their own speaches. There was only one picture, and that was taken after the ceremony by my friend, Heather. I will be posting it at the end of this entry.
The night ended with Heather taking us both out for a drink. We ended up talking about different things, and I discovered that she and I had a lot in common. I’m hoping this could be a good friendship. Only time will tell, I guess.
Friday was just a quiet night here at home. We just hung around here, and I enjoyed the fact that this would be my first weekend of not having to worry about anything school related.
Saturday I did my usual routine of grocery shopping, and then, Kim and Julie came over for a little get-together to celebrate in our own way. Of course alcohol was consumed, and I was already three sheets to the wind by the time they left. We hung around here acting crazy until I couldn’t stay awake any longer.
Yesterday, we slept in until sometime after two, then I got up and made breakfast. I can’t remember when the last time was I was able to do that. Then, I was unproductive for the rest of the day, finally mitivating myself to do laundry last night.
I know it sounds boring, but I wrote this to prove a point, besides the fact that I’m incoherent at 7:00 in the morning. This was my first weekend in a long time when I didn’t have to worry about studying for a test, doing homework, or working on a research paper. Of course, I have to study for the bords in January, but I’ll worry about that after new years. But for now, my birthday is coming up on Tuesday, Christmas is coming up, and I’m going back with James for new years. I’m just going to enjoy that. So without further explanation, I’m going to post the picture, and then call this an entry.

So last night, we did more full body massages. Before practical, we have to do an exchange in groups of three; one to give the massage, one to receive and give feedback, and the other to observe and give feed back. I observed first. I missed the very beginning, because Kevin was running late, but I got most of it. Some things I was able to notice and point out, where as others, Kevin had to clue me in. Thank god for him, or I wouldn’t have known the things that he pointed out. So we had to fill out a little form and turn it into matt.
Then, I did the massage on the one I observed. He needed it, as he got a good work out from doing the massage. Believe it or not, massaging works just about every muscle in the body. to me, it’s almost like a work out routine. So I did well. I forgot a couple of things, but for the most part, I did pretty good. Now, I have a tendency to go too fast, as I don’t want to run over the fifty minutes we’re allowed. It’s something to work on, I guess, but it’s kind of nerve racking, because practical is less than a month away. After that, we get to work on the public, and that scares me more than you know. Yes, I know I need to get over it, and I will. It’s just the enitial first few times that I’m nervous about. So I had to work on my timing last night, and I did well, although I think I might have been too fast. If I’d slowed down a little, and remembered those few things I needed to do, I think I would have been ok.
So now, things I need to concentrate on; just for my records
Remember to support the sacrum or shoulder when doing range of motion,
Remember to do the Draining strokes afterwords on every part of body; accept for face.
Remember to fix the bulster when flipping client over.
Remember to do smooth transitions from one stroke to another,
Remember to go slower and deeper,
Remember to do intake interview before client is on table,
Remember that just because a low table might feel ok in the beginning doesn’t mean your back won’t protest and be angry at the end; adjustment is your friend.
Oh, and take gas x before administering massage. How bloody embarrassing; especially when doing arm and shoulder.
So, if I concentrate on all that, I’ll be ready for clinic. Matt said he doesn’t expect us to be expert massage therapists yet, as long as we have the techniques we’ve covered down, and our motions are fluid and not choppy or jerky.
Wednesday, Robin, who observed me, and Mike, the recipient, will give me their honest feedback; or at least, it better be honest. But I actually will be getting the massage then as well. It pays to do it first. I know I sure could use one right about now.

Well, I did my first full body massage tonight. We’ve been practicing the different routines for the past month and a half, and Matt decided to have everybody do a full fifty-minute massage incorporating everything. This proved to be interesting, as we had no idea how much time to devote to which routine. There were many nights when I didn’t get to practice some routines, because I took too long doing others. But I was very surprised at myself tonight. Of course, my partner went first. I wanted to get my sheets on the table so somebody could get going right away. She was very late to class, so I ended up laying on the table being massaged only by my friend Casper the friendly ghoast. Needless to say, I felt like a major idiot, because I felt like I could have been working on someone all that time instead of laying on the table waiting. But finally she showed, and everything went well. She didn’t get to work on a lot, because she took too long in some areas, but after break, I got to massage her. I was surprized at what I was able to remember. I was hoping I would, as I really don’t want to get oil in my pack mate’s braille display trying to read the next thing in each sequence. So I was glad that I could count on the few brain cells I have to keep everything stored. I was also surprised at the fact that I was able to make good time. I was pretty much done with each thing before Matt told us to move on to the next thing. I think there were times when I may have gone a little too deep, but my partner was good about letting me know verbally or other wise. Kevin was there watching, but that’s about all he did. He wasn’t over helpful, and he didn’t try to do it for me this time, unless I gave him that “give me a clue-by-four” look. Apparently, I’m good at that, even though I can’t see what it looks like. LOL! So I feel pretty good about the vidio taping Matt’s planning to do next week. Lord,give me strength! After we did our massages, Matt did a review for a quiz we’re going to have on the basic muscle groups. He’s not going into depth with it, as he’s saving that for the myology instructor, AKA Christine. But I feel pretty good about that too. We’re having that on Monday.
This week is going to be interesting though. Tomorrow is going to be a quiz in A and P. You know, that one about cell devision and DNA and RNA? Yay! Then, We have our exam for myology on Thursday. Double yay! Maybe I’ll really hit the bottle this coming weekend. Or, maybe I’ll just eat myself to oblivian at Selina’s on Thursday night. What do you all think?
So there you all have it; a school update. I’m still trying to make the decision about getting that new dog, but I just can’t bring myself to make it. I still need to email GEB about my being upset about not knowing Kerry’s whereabouts, but I’ve had too much on my mind. But I’m going to go and not think about the two tests I have this week. Oh, maybe I should study. LOL!

Yes, I know, I’m way over due for this. I was doing well to update everyday, but there wasn’t enough going on to update everyday.
So I had my first test last night, in Anatomy and physiology. We started with the basics; from cells to organisms, the different body movements, body cavities, what each organ system does and soforth. I did surprisingly well, for not being much into science. I missed two, but because of the way one was worded, Christine gave me points for that particular question. So I got a 98% on it. So looks like we’re getting off to a good start.
Monday, in Sweedish, we finally got to do some hands on work. There’s a technick called Effleurage, which you have to start with in order to soothe the muscles, and prepare the person for the actual massage. So we got to pare up, and do some practice on that. I ended up in a group of three, so I didn’t get to be worked on, but that’s ok, because I really wanted to start doing it so I could get the hang of what I was doing. The lack of confidence was really talking, however. I wasn’t sure I was doing it right, standing right, and soforth, because I was starting to get soar. But I had Kevin there to reassure me that I in fact, was doing it right. He actually told me that If I questioned whether or not I was doing it right, it meant that I actually was. It didn’t make much sense, but at least I was getting positive feed back. I also got plenty of feed back from both Karen and Robin, the two class mates I worked on, and that was very encouraging, because while we’re doing this particular technique, we have to apply more and more pressure each time we do it, and I was afraid of applying too much pressure. So it was good to know that they liked what I was doing.
I did have one OMG moment though. At one point, Robin and I were working on Karen’s back, and Kevin suggested that we might want to stop, because it was starting to get red. For obvious reasons, I can’t tell when people’s skin is red, so I had to tell him right away. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that when there’s too much blood brought to the surface of the skin, it gets warm to the touch. So that was a bit of a learning experience for me. So tonight, we will get down to the nitty gritty of massaging. This will be fun…or something.

So the Kerry meltdown has begun. Here’s how it all started. James and I were on the phone tonight, and somehow we got on the subject of dogs. We were talking about his family’s dogs, and , and some of their antics, and–well–thoughts of Kerry came to the forefront of my mind. I kept imagining those dogs, and imagining her, and wondering whether or not she would have gotten along with them. I just kept seeing her face in my mind’s eye, and that was when the first tears finally came. I tell everyone I’m ok with everything, and maybe inside most days I believe it, but there is a part of me who isn’t ok with it. Part of me knows and has told the rest of me that she is not coming back. I miss her terribly. I miss that beautiful soft yello fur, the beautiful face, that cold wet nose, (even when it was gently nudging my ear at six in the morning,) and I miss how she used to get up on her hine legs and dance with me. I think it’s finally completely hitting me that she’s gone. Today I was looking for something, and I found that doggie basket I won afew months ago, and there was still a bone-shaped cookie in there that I never got to give her. I have to think about who I’m going to give that to. I’m thinking I might give it to Christine at work for Lexie, because she used to bring me all kinds of stuff in for Kerry all the time. But I feel better knowing I’m not cold hearted, and now I can face it and deal with it. She was a part of my life for five and a half years, so this isn’t going to be easy. I know I’m not there, but I will be eventually. I wanted to say a public thanks to James for being there during my random bout of crying.
School is going farely well considering. Wednesday night’s sweedish class was awesome. Matt did a full body massage demonstration, and I got to be the, um, full body. Can’t go wrong there. There were places on my back that hurt like a bitch, but I had to let him do it, because I needed him to relieve the tension. More importantly, it got me thinking. When he was doing it, his hands flowed like water. There were no breaks, and he was very confident and sure of himself and what he was doing. I wondered to myself as he was doing it, if I could ever be that good. I wondered if I’d ever be comfortable and confident enough to have people undress, and actually touch places on their body that either are tense or that have been hurting them for long periods of time. I just pray that I can gain the confidence to do it. As long as I am sure of myself, then the people shouldn’t feel uncomfortable either.
Also, that night, we talked about the history of massage, of course, and about boundaries and professionalism. He warned us about a few things that might happen, and what we could do about them. We talked about the stereotype that massage therapy is somehow connected with sexual favors. He warned us that erections are going to happen, and that most of the time, the guys are embarrassed by it, but there are those few who will act inappropriately. Also, he told us that once in a while, we might get that “What did you do to me? I’m in a lot of pain.” call. Basicly, he said that with therapy, sometimes we take a step back before taking two steps foreword. So something might be painful for them for a while, but it will get better. He warned us that people might not feel comfortable undressing, and it will be harder to feel the tissues, and reach places through their clothes. We talked about a lot of common sense issues, like not falling in love or having sex with clients, not talking about clients to other clients, calling the massage table a table rather than a bed, how to arrange the sheets on the table so people don’t think you’re making them ly in a bed, and more. We talked about covering the person, and how to uncover whatever parts we’re doing, and cover them back up again. It was a lot of information, but I think I can get it eventually.
Thursday night was the myology class. Actually, with the acception of all the diagrams, it’s going to be easier than I thought it would be. It’s certainly going to require a lot of memorization, so here’s hoping I still have some good brain cells left. Again, with this class, she’ll be emailing the notes to us, so I’ll have that, plus even though I don’t have the book in accessible format, I have the print book, which I can scan as long as kurzie cooperates, so I think I’ll be ok. I just need to email her and discuss the whole diagram issue, because the bulk of our first homework assignment is going to involve identifying things in diagrams, which, um, forsome reason, I can’t do. LOL! But I have a feeling we’ll figure it out somehow, because she, also being the A&P instructor, is very easy to work with. She gives a lot of homework for this class, but she’s also very lenient about it. Plus, I know that if I have an issue, all I have to do is talk to her about it. I actually have my first test in that class in about two weeks. It’s going to be about joints, Tendons, and ligaments. The difference between a sprain and a strain, which joints bend how, and so on and soforth. I’m excited about this so far.
So I did a bunch of scanning last night, and I plan to devote most of tomorrow to doing homework. I’ve got a sweedish assignment due Monday, and this myology thingy due thursday. I’m also going to email Christine about the diagram issue, but do what I can of the myology. Well, I’m off to enjoy a quiet very restful sunday.

So I have my first homework assignment in something like thirteen years. I get to read a chapter and a half, and do a self test and turn it in even. Imagine that!
Anyway, the class went very well. Matt, the instructor, is very nice, and he seems like he’ll be farely easy to work with. We had to do the preliminary introductions; what’s our names, and why we chose massage school, and all that funn stuff. Then we went through the sylabus. There’s only going to be a few lecture classes, but for the most part, we will be doing actual massage work. We’re going to learn the different techniques, posture, stretching, and even the propper way to cover up the client. We’re going to have a practical exam before Christmas, and that will decide if we’re ready for clinic. The school has a public clinic where people can come in, and we can work on people with different types of issues. This should be fun! Ug! I’m praying that by then, I will be confident enough to deal with that when it arises, and not stumble when I come across a complicated case. Also, they’re going to do a test where they video tape us. Ok, it’s bad enough hearing my own big mouth on cassette tape, Now, I’ll get to watch myself on video. So over all, it was good. After class, Matt came over to Kevin and I and asked if I would participate in the full body dimonstration he’s going to do tomorrow night. He figured that this way,I’ll know what he’s talking about, rather than having someone describe everything to me. Of course I jumped at the chance.
Tonight, I discovered, is anatomy and physiology. Good times! Um, I think I have the book for it. It’s an audio book, so this should be fun. Ok, Equipment gods, where be my packmate? LOL! I did email them about it, and they said it should be on it’s way. Next week, perhaps? Do I need to make a sacrifice so I can make it come quicker?

So I made it through the medical terminology class on Thursday night, and I’m still alive to tell about it. Basicly, all we did was go through the suffixes, prefixes and root words and what they meant. It wasn’t as overwhelming as I thought it would be, because I discovered that as long as I break the word apart from left to right, I can figure out exactly what it is. As long as I do that, it’s really not as intimidating as I thought it would be. So I left class with cheat sheets with all of the words and their meanings. I figure once I get the pack mate, I’ll just enter them in as a word file so I can just refer back to it when I need it for science class.
Tonight is going to be my first class in Sweedish massage. I’m actually very excited about this. I was looking at my schedule last night, and it looks like I have sweedish on Mondays and Wednesdays up until about april or May or so, Something called AP on tuesdays, and Myology (the study of the muscles) on Thursdays. After Myology, I’ll have pathology, which is the study of different diseases. Also on thursdays. So it looks like it’ll be Thursday night comfort fried ice cream for me. LOL! There’s a mexican restaurant in the same building as the school, so I’ll be freequenting that place a lot, I have a feeling, because when I’m stressed, my cravings for food go into major overdrive. And science has a history of stressing me out. LOL!
Once Sweedish is over, I have Pregnancy massage, chair massage, sports massage, and energy classes. I’m very excited about all of those. In March, there will be an aroma therapy course on the weekend, and there will be a reiky class sometime next year as well. I will be all over both of those. As far as other things, I will have to take a second study skills class, a couple of law classes, and a couple of business classes. Let me just say right now, that both law and business scare me. This should be interesting.
So for the record, I’m going to say right now, that looking at this schedule, I think it’s actually going to be fun. Let’s see how I feel about that in three months. LOL! So I’m going to need you all to remind me of what I said here when I commence to bitching about how crazy things are getting.
Still thinking about going postal on GEB. Well, not really going postal, but I’m still a bit cheesed about not being told where Kerry was. My question is, why did they feel the need to tell Cora, but not me? I guess they feel blind people can’t handle it or something. I don’t know. But I’m thinking of calling the school to find out who to complain to about that.
I dreamed about her the other night. I dreamed that I saw her, and she was looking so good. That bare patch on her stomach was no longer bare, and she was happily loving on me. Why haven’t I cried yet? That’s what I want to know.
I have decided that I am not going to mess with getting a new dog now, as I just will not have time, during this next fifteen months or so, to do it. Even if I do home training, I’ll need to be studying during my off time, and it’s just not practical right now. Mom thinks I should get one right away though. But I’ve done well this long with the cane, I’m sure I’ll be fine, and I did well with the cane before Lamont, so I’m sure I’ll live. So now, it’s all about school, and–well–other things. LOL! I’ll concentrate on the dog thing once I finish, and figure out what I’m going to do from there.

So last night went without a hitch. I came home from work, freshened up, had an IM conversation with a certain individual, ate dinner, and was off. I was practicly met at the door by the vice president of the school itself, who had apparently been trying to get hold of me on my old cel phone, which I’d given to Julie recently. So we were able to touch base, and she was more interested in what they could do to help, and make this experience easier for me. She and Sarah, the admitions person, introduced me to everybody who will be going through the program with me. I also met Kevin, who is to be my assistant in my Sweedish massage class. He seems nice, and I think I’m going to enjoy working with him.
then, we did some ice breaker type stuff, such as introducing ourselves, answering random questions, at one point introducing each other, and then they had us do this weird activity where we had to stand in two separate rows facing each other, and walk up to each other. they first had us just charge up to the other person, then they had us walk slowly up to them and make eye contact. I think they were just trying to show us how each thing affects the person you’re walking up to. It seemed like people were more nervous when we walked slowly up to that person and looked them in the eye, rather than just charging up to that person. What does this have to do with massage, you ask? Have a clue, I do not. LOL! But it was fun, nonetheless. Then they had us, still in our little rows, stand close to the person we were standing across from, and put our hands up maybe two or so inches from the other person’s hands with our palms facing each other, and close our eyes. They wanted to show us, and I’ve found this to be true, that even though our hands weren’t touching, we could still feel their energy. We could tell if it was bad or good, and what kind of emotional state the other person was in. It was amazing how I could randomly move my hands around, and still be able to find where my partner’s hands were without touching them. I felt a kind of heat. I also felt a sort of exchange of energy between us. They were trying to show us that whatever’s going on with us emotionally, it can be felt by others, so we have to be careful with that when we’re doing massages, because the recipiant will pick up on that. Also, if we pick up bad energy from the person we’re massaging, we have to cleanse ourselves before the next person.
Then, after a short break, we went through the student hand book; the rights and responcibilities of the students, signed the agreement that said we read and understood all of that, and then we were off.
I stuck around to talk with the vice president afterwords about accessibility issues, and things I would need. They showed me where my locker was, the coat rack, the bathrooms, ECT. All that little stuff, you know.
But I am seeing more and more how close nit this school is. It’s not like other colleges where all the student is is just a number. Michelle, the director, showed me this when she at one point asked what kind of transportation needs I had. I didn’t think anything of it, because I live in walking distance of the school, and had planned on just walking home after class. She insisted that she didn’t want me walking home after dark, and got someone to volunteer to take me home. At the end of the night, I had two people in the parking lot willing to take me home. LOL!
So tonight is a study skills class, and tomorrow night is a medical terminology class. Yay fun! I still don’t have my pack mate yet, so I asked them last night if the instructor could send the notes to me via email, and they were very willing to work with me.
So as it stands right now, this just might work after all. I sure hope so. If not, I’m going to move to a galaxy far far away where nobody can find me. I’ll live with new aliens and take on a new identity. LOL!