Life in the Nuthouse

Today turned out to be a really good day with the acception of a minor freak-out at Tim Hortons this morning. We got up at about the same time I usually do for work, left about the same time as I normally would for work, and even got home at about the same time. I thought that was rather ironic.
Heather and her friend came and got us, and of course, we had to hit the nearest Starbucks, because…everyone meet Heather…she’s a starbucks addict. LOL! Then we were on our way to Buffalo. We got there early, so because I didn’t get anything for breakfast, I asked them to stop somewhere so I could get something, and there just happened to be a Tim Hortons near by, so I went in to get me a bagle and that maple donut I like. That was when I had my many freak-out. It didn’t last long. I guess I apparently started flipping out, because I was having a hard time hearing people…or something. I jsut remember Heather telling me it was because I was freaking out and I had every right to be. It was a little embarrassing, but what can you do.
My original reader got really sick apparently, so they got one of the procters to fill in. The test took me about three hours to get through, because I had her read stuff twice so I could pay attention to certain details that were important. I didn’t finish it until about 4:00, and I was starving by the time I got out. After that, we all went over to the anchor bar for some really true Buffalo wings, and I ate like a pig. I almost had a couple of drinks, but decided against it, as nobody else seemed to want to drink, and I didn’t want to be the only one. So I resolved to get sloshed tomorrow night.
As far as the test itself, I think it went better this time, but I can’t be sure. I won’t know for another eight weeks or so. I can tell you, however, that I have resolved that if I fail this one, I’m not retaking it again. I’ve never been one to give up on things, but if the universe is working against it, there’s not a lot I can do about that. The only thing I can do is try a couple of times, and if it doesn’t work out, find something else, or figure out exactly what it is that I’m meant to do. I can safely say that I’ve learned a great deal from this experience; about the body, about things you should and shouldn’t do with the body, or with people who have certain conditions, so I guess at this point, that’s all that matters. So for now, I’ll patiently wait to see how I did, then, if I fail, I’ll begin reassessing my life and what I want to do as a career from there. If I pass, well, I’ll probably either find somewhere to work, or see about doing some freelance massages to get me started. Then, I’ll research what it takes to get lisenced in Ontario.
We got home, and just relaxed. I didn’t have to cook, because we stuffed ourselves at the Anchor bar, and stopped at Sugar Mountain for cup cakes on the way home. James cleaned up my bath tub and drew me a bath, which was very relaxing. Other than that, it’s been a low-key evening. Unfortunately, I have to go back to work tomorrow, but the good news is…it’s Friday so hopefully, it won’t be too busy. James feels the need to cut out on Saturday night, so I’m going to be by myself after that.

So…tomorrow is it; The moment of truth. This is my second opportunity to take the New York state board exam for massage therapy. I decided at about 6:30 tonight that if I don’t know most of this stuff by now, I won’t know it…ever. It’s all lined up; Got the ride from the ever so generous fun, and not to mention wild and crazy Heather, got the fiance here to support me since he didn’t get to last time, all I need is…a miracle. So, Here goes the second time of nothing, and any thoughts/prayers/good energy is very much appreciated.
I have a lot lot lot to blog about, and I’m just figuring out how I’m going to do it, because it’s been so bloody long. But I will be posting something this weekend.

Dearest facebook
Just when I think you can’t possibly be more inaccessible, and more of a pain in all parts of my anatomy including parts I do not have, You rise to the occasion. I just need to know one thing here. Why is it that just because I may log in on a different computer, I automaticly a hacker? Am I that much of a bad girl that you have to make me go through a bunch of stupid, moronic, and rediculous hoops just so I can be told that I have to come back in an hour, because you don’t like my answers. I don’t go on face book much as it is, because you’ve got your site so bloody convaluted that going there makes my whole body quiver in pain after I’m done with what I need to do on there. Now, in order to log in from another computer, I have to look at pictures I can’t see, and try to tell you who I think they are. First of all, I used audio captia instead of the regular one. Did it occur to you that that was possibly because, um…I couldn’t see the regular captia. Did it ever occur to you that if I can’t see the regular captia, I won’t be ablle to make out the pictures? Also, even if I could see them, Some of those people, while I’ve ben in touch with them for years, I have no earthly idea what they look like. What ever happened to the old fassioned security questions? Why do we have to be shut out because you’ve got us doing things we can’t do? It’s just another computer, folks. I’m not a freaking hacker. Get a bloody clue, oh dearest facebook airheads, and fix your broken site.
No love
Your neighborhood annoyance.

Dear universe and to any god or goddess that is listening,

I’m not sure how close to the full moon we are, but I feel I need to make an appeal to whoever is listening. So summer is…well…pretty much here. OK, so it doesn’t officially start until June 21st, but work with me here, dammit! I’m watching the weather get nice, people are out doing things, I guess I’m really feelin the summer spirit here. I was home and bored today, and looked at the strictly plutonic section of our local craig’s list, and I was surprised to se so many others looking for exactly the same thing. It makes me want to go swimming, go on boat rides, go to water parks, go walking, get hit by random water balloons or squert guns, ECT. Now, doing sed things is really boring when done alone, you know. What I’m asking for is a group of people with whom to do some or all these things with. It doesn’t have to be just one person all of the time, because I am well aware that people can’t have fun every weekend, but I’m just asking for a few people to come in my life who are interested in doing random and fun summer-type things on the weekends instead of sitting at home. It doesn’t even have to be every weekend, but I’m just looking to have fun this summer and enjoy good times with good company. Please don’t make me have to do an add on craig’s list, because…that could sometimes be, um…scary. Oh, and to any deities that deal with money? a little extra of that wouldn’t hurt either.
Lots of love and faithfulness,
One loan subject who has too much energy bottled up.

So I’ve been with Verizon and have had my NV2 for about two years now. It was kind of one of those, I got dumped and stimmulated, so I’m going to go spend money, kind of things. So since it’s been about two years, I became eligible for an upgrade and renewal of my contract. I’d heard mixed reviews about both the android and the HTC Ozone with talks, so I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I didn’t fall into the I-phone craze either, and I know AT&T hates me, so I wasn’t sure how much better switching to them would be. So a coworker showed me her HtC Ozone. She was the original one who was singing the NV2′s praises back two years ago, so I still wasn’t sure. But I’ve been on a Verizon email list, and have heard others talk about it, so I figured I’d do it.
I finally ordered it a couple weeks ago, and after three tries on Fed-ex’s part to get it to me, and after the kindness of my next door neighbor, I got it last thursday. Getting things going was a bit hairy however. I didn’t have a license number, and you need that to get full use of the program. I was to discover two things. First, whoever put talks on the phone didn’t install it right, so it was doing all sorts of weird things. I tried installing it again, but the techie person I was talking to didn’t tell me that I needed the license for it in order to do that until after the fact. Second of all, even though you purchase the phone with talks, you still have to pay the $00 registration fee in order to get full use. You get talks on the phone, but you only pay for very limmitted use of it. If I’d have known that, I would gotten the free ozone, then installed talks on it and payed the $99 registration fee. Live and learn. I just wish they were a bit more informative about it so people could make a knowledgeable and well-informed decision about it. I certainly don’t mind paying for registration and all, but I probably could have saved a bit of money.
So once I got things going, after having to completely reformat the thing to reinstall talks correctly, which, may I say here, really isnt’ that hard to do, and getting the number, I got things working quite nicely. Soem people say this version of talks is slow, but I don’t see that. I love my phone. I can actually…oh my god…edit my texts. I can see who they’re from. I can edit my contacts, and I can play with ring tones. I haven’t been brave enough to do email, IM and internet on it yet, but i imagine that’ll come in time.
So like everything else, this late-bloomer has arrived into the 21st century.

OK, so I haven’t blogged about this yet, because I just simply didn’t know what to say or how to put what I was thinking about it into words. Those of you who read my twitter know most of the story, but not everybody uses or reads twitter, so I’m going to tell it from the beginning.
Back at the end of January, as you all know, I took a day off, and a nice road trip to Siracuse to take the New York State Boards exam for massage therapy. I was anxious about it from start to finish. The night before, I tried things from drinking a bunch of martinis and smernoff wine coolers, to going swimming in the hotel’s pool. I was instructed by the loving boyfriend that under no circumstances was I to study that night, as I’d been studying like a maniac up until that point. But after my very much needed swim, I went back to my room to find my roommate, emily either headed toward slumber, or already there. So I left so as not to disturbe her, and ended up in another student’s room, doing sed forbidden studying. We didn’t study long though. We ended up talking, somebody got a massage, and I eventually went to bed.
The next morning I was up, showered and full from a nice breakfast, and ready to go. You all hav eno idea how nervous I was that day. I think I was so nervous I ended up getting some questions wrong just because of that. I knew I missed a few, but was unsure as to just how many I missed.
I ended up riding with some of the day students, so my classmates showed up later, and they were all pretty nervous, and afterword, angry about how the test was written. My friend, Mike was especially nervous, as he’s hoping to make a solid career out of it.
We drove home in the midst of a nice snow storm. Mother nature had decided to freak us all out, I guess so we could forget about the test and all the questions we got wrong. I got home, called James, and balled my eyes out, thinking I was a complete loser, and that I’d never amount to anything.
Well, time went on, I started hanging with Heather, and learning magic and things, I tried my best not to think about the test or what the results would be. In March, I finally got the results. I didn’t know how to read it, so I called Heather and had her come over. Guys, I failed. Not by much; only two bloody points, but nonetheless, I failed. Heather came over and read it. I cried on her shoulder. She left, I called James at his mother’s place, interrupting family time and told him while balling. Hung up, cried my eyes out again, and the next night, I skipped the country. Granted, the vacation was planned, but still.
So, after the vacation, and all the enitial “oh shit, I failed.” I got help filling out the form to challenge the exam. Turns out that mike only missed his by one point, so he also had applied to challenge it as well, so we decided we’d ride down together. I went doan at the end of april to Albany with Mike to challenge it, and most of those questions, I just kept thinking “I’m such a dumb ass.” I kept wondering why I picked some of the answers I picked, and recognizing that it had to be nothing but nerves, because I knew the shit. I ended up challenging a couple, but I got the latter last week, and low and behold, no change. Same with old Mike.
So…we’re going for the retake in August. I’m going to study like a bloody maniac, try not to be so nervous–fat chance–and pass this bloody thing if it kills me.
I’ll go on with my original plan; find some kind of work in a spa, or something until I either start my own business, or end up in Ontario, so at least I’ll have something to show. I know I’m not a loser. I know my stuff, because if I didn’t, I would ahve failed by a lot more, and wouldn’t have retaken it. Part of me thought of not retaking it, but I kept hearing my late father’s voice saying “I didn’t raise a quitter.” Yah, sometimes it’s hard to keep pushing, but we have to, or we won’t move foreword.
So…please, I need good thoughts, positive energy, ECT., Because I’m going to need it. And…I look foreword to another roadtrip with Mike, and maybe the beatles. LOL!

So after weeks of incessent nagging by the loving boyfriend, I got off my fat lazy arse and checked my RSS feeds. He set this up for me quite a while ago, and eventually set it up so I could read my friends page on LJ. I just hadn’t gotten to it until this afternoon. It was amazing what I saw from not reading the friends page for such a long time. People are graduating from college, Couples I thought had broken up are still together, One couple did break up after thinking they might be able to work things out, Someone’s moving into their own place next year, and someone is starting their own business. I even found a couple taro decks I’m halfway tempted to purchase at some point. I finally finished reading all of my RSS feeds, and I’m beginning to wonder if James and I switched boddies for a few hours. It’s almost 2:00 in the morning, and he’s dead to the world, and I’ve done RSS feeds all night. At least when I went to bed, I at least said good night without just disappearing. haha! So if we’re switching places, I wonder if I should go all out and start watching a hockey game. I just thought about it, and decided absolutely not. I’m going to go bac, to being Jessica, and lay on my fat lazy ass in my bed with my Diana Gabaldon book until I fall asleep.
Today was a very productive day. I got my grocery shopping done early, came back hear and was able to relax a bit befor braving the strong wind and walking up to the taro meet up the local psychic store has once a month. Had to cab it home, because Mother nature decided it would be amusing to add rain into the mix. I repotted more of my snake plants, then started doing RSS feeds. I hoped my friend, Emma would want to hang this weekend, but she’s got some things going on, so we’ll probably hang next week.
So it was nice to be able to catch up with everybody finally and see what’s been going on in everybody’s lives. Now, It’s off to bed with me.

It has been forever since I’ve blogged, and it really bothers me, because as much as I love to write, one would think I would have had a lot to say, but I just haven’t felt inspired to write anything. After finishing school I turned into a hermit, because I’d been so busy and stressed out for the last year and a half that I just turned into myself and enjoyed not having to be anywhere. I guess I just disconnected from everybody, and turned more to reading instead. But during that time I ahve been doing some soul searching, and have learned a lot from my friend Heather, and others, and I’m hoping to be able to put all of that into words as well. I did get a new promotion and started that last week, so my working hours have changed. I’m starting work later in the morning which is good for me, as I am not much good to anyone in the morning. If I could I’d work an overnight shift, but I can dream, can’t I? I’ve had an ordeal with the massage exam, which I will go into more detail about later on And I’ve gotten back into my plants again. One day, I will have that green house.
So that, in a nut shell has been my last couple of months. I’m sorry to all of you that I usually talk to. I guess I’ve just turned into myself for comfort and for learning about myself, and just haven’t been the best at staying connected. I will work on that now that I’m starting to come out of the ground. LOL!

bI’ve been told that I should write what’s on my mind so here goes. I feel very frustrated. I was born to write. Writing is my passion, and my life, but guess what. I can’t. I’m not inspired to write. I’m tired all the time, I can’t think of anything of substance to write about, and I’m just burned out. I want to have a blog, and I want to write, and I want people to get to know me, but something is blocked very badly, and I don’t know how to unblock it. This is why I haven’t posted as much as I should, and I feel bad because people have been asking when I’m going to blog again, and I just don’t know. I have been working on so much spiritually, and I want to write about it, but I just don’t know how. I haven’t known how to communicate in any fassion for a long time. Anyone who is still reading and hasn’t given up on me, I ask of you to please send out positive energy so I can be unblocked, and communicate again.bbb

On Sunday night, I decided to say hi to someone I hadn’t talked to in a couple months, because she happened to be on MSN. She’s the girlfriend of a guy I’ve known for about sixteen or seventeen years or so, who has been in and out of my life, therefore we haven’t really gotten all that close as of late. I joined an email list last year, that they both happen to be on, and was introduced to her. She and I chat every once in a while on MSN, but it’s not like we’re best friends or anything.
Anyway, this particular night, I happened to be talking about taking the boards and then about my plans for the future. I happened to mention that I wanted to first, find someone to work for here, save mone, then eventually once James gets more settled with a permanent job, move up there. Her responce went something like this: “You’re going to go through all that hard work, then go to Canada?” Of course, I said yes, and do massage once I get to Canada. Then, she had to ask if James was working. I told her that he was having a hell of a time finding work so far, and that was why I’m not in a harry hurry to just randomly jump ship. Then, she started in about how there are no blindness programs or organizations in Canada. I informed her that James was not looking for a blindness related job, he’s looking for a tech job. Then she told em that there were no job services at all in Canada, and that if you aren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you’re treated pretty patheticly in her book. Apparently, she is of the mindset that one has to hook up with a blindness organization to do *anything* James and I are both perfectly capable of writing resumes, sending them to potential employers, and going to interviews. We don’t need some organization breathing down our backs, just because our eyes don’t work. Besides, half the organizations I’ve seen don’t even go out into the community and educate companies about adaptive technology, or blindness skills anyway. They learn from the individual person in interviews, and if they do get hired, they learn by watching them work.
This person thinks she’s trying to discourage me, because she is a canadian citizen who moved to the states, while her boyfriend, who she’s living with, works out of the home, and might lose the job he has. She and her boyfriend have told me, “Don’t think with your emotions.” When she’s the one who moved down there to be with him. Can we say hipocracy, boys and girls?
So yes, I’m going to stay with my plan, if I pass, and I still don’t know if I did, work for someone or keep the job I have now, save money, wait for James to find gainful employment, then make my move. Yes, I’m going to have to take editional tests once I get there to be licensed there, but they also might have me take editional classes, and oh, gee! I might learn something new> That would be horrible. As far as girlie, well, if she has a grudge about blindness services, or lack there of, in Canada, it’s a personal problem. But don’t sit there and tell me what to do and browbeat me because I have my own plans.

Someone put this little article on twitter a couple weeks ago, and automaticly, I thought of James. James is openly, and prowdly a geek, and he will happily tell you so. Now, I wasn’t specificly looking for a “geek” for a boyfriend when we met. Actually, I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend at all. But nonethe less, it happened, and I just want to illaborate on just how geeky he is.

This list was found on the following website

http://tr.im/KSRQ

Accept for my commentary, of course.

1. They are so busy with their Computers that they don’t have all the time in the world to think about other girls. Thus, they won’t ditch you for any other girl. So, you don’t need to be unsecured.
Everytime I call him, I’m either waking him up, or pulling him away from reading about the latest technological wonder, or trying to fix something that went south, or installing something new on his computer, or his lap top, which he has installed Linux on. I never hear him say, “Talking to Jill, or bertha, or ethel,” or any other random girl’s name you want to insert in there. Usually if I do interrupt a call, it’s with his mother.

2. They are technically sound! In this age of technology, they can work with any given gadget. So, if you happen to mess up with a gizmo, they can fix it
for you with ease. So, No wasting money on repairing gadgets.
Jaws ten with Tandom has become my best friend. There have been times when I’ve had him on tandom while I was either in the shower or getting ready for something, because something went ker-bork on my end, and I needed him to fix it. There ahve been times when things have gone ker-bork while he’s been sleeping, or out with his family, and I feel absolutely lost not being able to tell him “James I love you. My tw Inbox is doing such and such.” or “James…honey…sweety…my email won’t send anything or recieve anything can you fix it for me?” When he’s here on one of his many visits, he’s finding something that broke on my computer, and fixes it without duress.

3. They are intelligent and they know what they are talking about. So, you don’t need to act as if you are convinced, when you are actually not! They can explain everything what they are talking about[mostly with solid proofs]. They can impress your parents or any other knowledgeable person with their wisdom and knowledge, not like any other Sexy looking loser.
Everytime James and our friend Kim get together, technology almost always comes up, as Kim works for the IT department where I work. They’re always talking about what they know about this or that, While Julie and I jsut look at each other and go “yah, OK.” There are times when we’re on the phone, and I’ll just listen to him talk about something linux related or server related and say yah, OK. He always thinks I’m waiting for him to shut up, when I’m really not. He hasn’t talked tech with my mother yet. He hasn’t talked about anything with my mother for that matter, as they’ve never met, but I wonder how impressed she’d be.

4. In this Computer-based world, Geeks are greatly in demand for Jobs. So, they earn quite well or are bound to make good money
in the future. So, No future worries!
Unfortunately, his line of work hasn’t yielded many results in his area, so he doesn’t have a job at this point, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been out pounding the pavement. He did work for Dell for a while until they closed his office, and made a comfortable enough sallery. But I’m not worried about the money, I’m only worried about the computer knowledge. LOL!

5. You don’t need to wear good clothes and have a facial done every 2 weeks. They don’t really care about how you look, as far as they are sure that you
love them. Some of them may talk about your looks, but it is not really in their nature.
James doesn’t care about the fact that I hate facials and har appointments every week. He jsut thinks I should pamper myself, but he doesn’t care. He’s told me I look good, but keep in mind, he’s totally blind. I think if he did get any sight he’d look at me, and throw up. Afterwords wondering why he ever thought I was pretty. LOL!

6. They will give you a gift which you can show-off to the world. Mostly, the gifts would be like the latest
Apple iPod
or the newest Mobile phone in the market. It may also be a lovely website with the photos of you and him linking to
geeky poems
which will be difficult for you to understand.(but that’s okay!). You don’t need to hide their gifts from everyone as they are not going to be Sexy looking “Undies”.
He’s never bought me any electronics, although I would like a nice new PC or a nice new nokia E71 phone like he’s got. (I love you, James.) But I don’t think it’s going to happen. He hasn’t written me a geeky poem yet, but I imagine in time, with all the time he’s got on his hands, he’ll think of something. After all, he does do roleplaying, so he does have creativity.

7. If he goes missing, you don’t need worry about Police arresting him for misbehavior, after boozing on the streets! You can find him in some electronic Superstore geeking around with the latest
MacBook.
He doesn’t normally geek out in stores, probably because his options are limmitted as far as transportation goes right now, but I imagine he’ll be doing that once he’s able to get to his nearest computer store. As it is, he geeks out on the net. Just a couple weeks ago, he was up all night dreaming wistfully about a new desc top PC he found on the net, falling in love with every minute of reading about it and thinking about it. God only knows when I would have heard from him if he actually had the chance to play with the thing.

8. They don’t really have any dressing sense. So, you can always try and convince him on which clothes to buy. You surely have the upper hand when it comes to knowing about the latest fashion trends. And, they will obey your command quietly without asking to many questions, when it comes to the Fashion part.
OK, I’ll sum this up in just a few characters. When at home, boxers and only boxers. When out, jeans that may have at least one hole in them, shirt, one black sock and one white sock. Any questions?

9. They are loyal to you as they are to their Laptop! When they say that they need you more than the RAM in their
Desktop, they really mean that they love you and need you  for their life!
James doesn’t complain about the ram in his desc top, and he has been a bit neglectful of his lap top lately. So actually, he’s been more attentive and loyal to me than with his equipment.

10. Even though their sense of romance is quite different, let me tell you…They are really good in Bed! (you need to accept this without any logical proof!
Urm, I’m not going to give any details here, but let me just say this one thing. I am quite happy with the, um, network connection, and the plugs have as much electricity as they need. Just sayin.

Yes, I know. It’s been almost a week since I’ve posted, but I guess I just wasn’t sure how to write a post about waiting for results to a test that was so unbelievably difficult, I’m not too confident that I did well.
That wednesday before, I was busy getting last minute things done before our little road trip. I was nervous about this since these girls weren’t part of my class, and I wasn’t sure how I would connect with them, but it ended up being a very fun and relaxing trip. I’d like to think I made a few friends out of the deal. First, after getting to Siracuse, we checked into our hotel rooms, I shared a room with Emily, who I had never met before, so I knew it would prove to be interesting. Turns out we thought a lot alike on different issues, and she was very easy to get along with.
After checking in to our rooms, we found a nice little restaurant and got us some serious grub. I ate so much I thought I was going to go splodie. It didn’t help when I decided to order desert and ended up with the hugest piece of cheese cake ever. It even prompted Regan to take a picture of it. She still hasn’t emailed me that picture, By the way. LOL! I also ended up having the equivalent of five margaritas and getting respectably buzzed by the time dinner was over.
After getting back, I found out where the pool was, so I took some me time and headed down there while Emily took a quick snooze. There was nobody else in there, thank God, and I was able to just relax and get my thoughts in order. Well, I tried to get my thoughts order as much as I could, since my entire career henges on this test. After relaxing all my muscles and getting out of the pool, however, it seemed like the cold and shivvering made them all tense up again. not to mention the fack that my buz had gone off somewhere on a permanent vacation.
I went back to our room, and after accidently waking Emily up, I changed back into my clothes, and went up to Michelle and Regan’s room for a little study fest. Joel had opened up www.massagenird.com and we were going through questions, and WTF-ing and their reasoning for some of their answers. Then, we all decided we were tested out, and we embarked on some rather random conversation which included things we might have accidently said or did to classmates during swedish class. I had to tell my story about how I offered to “suck” someone instead of “tuck” whild draping his leg. Regan got an arm massage, and I drank two bottles of smernof ice, and went back to my room for a good night’s sleep.
The next morning, Emily and I made our way down for the complamentary breakfast the hotel provided, and I didn’t eat much, because there really wasn’t a whole lot of a selection. I took the free shuttle service over to the testing site at about 10:30, becuase they wanted me there early, and was taken in almost immediately. My reader turned out to be a massage therapist herself. She was very pleasant, and helped me to stay relaxed through the whole thing. She was very patient with my constantly wanting her to repeat questions and answers, although sometimes I wondered if she was ready to grab me by the hair roots and fling me against the wall. LOL!
I was a bit sad when I got done, as I don’t think I did very well. While waiting for the others, I kind of did some reflecting on some of the questions and couldn’t seem to figure out where I went wrong, but I guess it’s just the feeling I got.
Everybody came out, and only two people from my class acknowledged me. They all preached about what a “team” or “family’ we were, and only two people actually talked to me.Later, after musing about it on the way home, Michelle said, “You can be part of our class then.” I thought that was sweet. Seemed like they were more fun and more personable anyway. But it was good to see Mike and Karen again, and I did find out onw question I got wrong. LOL! I just hope I didn’t miss more than 35.
After the four of us met again, we took the shuttle back to the hotel, got Michelle’s van, and made tracks for home. We stopped off at McDonalds long enough to grab some grub to go, and we were off. It was snowing and blowing pretty bad out there, which made the trip a bit interesting and nerve-racking, but we made it in one piece.
I came home, and started doing some serious reflecting on my life, balled my eyes out for a while, subjected poor James to my woes and sorrows, then went to bed, vowing not to think about it until I got my results.
As far as the results go? Well, I won’t know anything for eight weeks or so, but I’ll let you all know when I do find out my doom, ur, I mean, how well I did.

Just before the holidays, I reached one of my ultimate goals. That was to finish the entire In Death series by J.D. Rob. I was battling with what books to start with next, as I got so used to Eve Dallas and her hot and sexy husband, Roarke, and just couldn’t imagine reading anything else. I had to suck it up, and be happy with the fact that there would be a new installment coming out in February, and to have no fear, that I could read something else, and the books wouldn’t stop coming for a while.
So I have all kinds of other stuff to read from Stephen King to James Patterson, to V.C. Andrews. Yes, I have an eclectic taste in authors, don’t laugh. So I finally decided on Janet Ivanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. Now, Stephanie is supposed to be a bounty hunter. She took a job from her very kinky perverted cousin merely out of desperation after losing her previous job as a lingerie sailswoman. I’ve read two and a half books from this series so far, and I just have one question. When in the hell is Eve Dallas going to show up and teach this completely cluelsss woman a thing or two? This woman just makes me cringe every time she tries to apprehend someone. She knows how crafty these criminals can be, yet she has her purse in plain sight so someone could snatch it, She gets her car either stolen or blown up more times than anyone should, and she’s got no capability to fight these people with man to man combat. She runs into people she’s trying to apprehend just by chance, and she lets them drive off with other people’s vehicles. This Chickie is beyond ditsy. I’m surprised MS Ivanovich didn’t make her a blond. I think that even Peabuddy, as airheaded as she can be, could teach Stephanie everything she needs to know inside of a month. I’m wondering now, what would happen if Janet Ivanavich and Nora Roberts, AKA J.D. Rob, got together and wrote an eve Dallas meets Stephanie Plum? Something’s got to happen here. Just sayin.

So I was doing so well last night. Seems that every night, I forget to load my coffee maker, because either I’m just too tired from being up and on the phone with James until 2 in the morning, or I’m just plum lazy or forgetful. Last night was a rarity, as after hanging up with the afor mentioned loving boyfriend, I remembered, and had just enough energy to load my faithful, but so rarely used MR. Coffee with a couple of scoops of Tim Horton’s coffee that sed loving boyfriend had brought down on one of his visits across the border. My alarm went off at exactly 6:30 this morning. I woke happy, refreshed, and ready for a jolting cup of Tim Hortons coffee and some breakfast before leaving for another day at the office. I was even gitty with the prospect of being able to deploy Bubba, my 64-ounce coffee mugt for the task of supplying me with another jolt of Tim Hortons coffee while at the office. So I turned on my coffee maker, and went to de-skankify myself in the shower. I got dressed, threw one of those Jimmy Deans ham and cheese sandwiches in old Mike, being careful not to over cook it as I had done yesterday morning. I tweeted, to say good morning to the world, because I do that kind of thing, even though it was too-goddam-early o’clock in the morning, and then went for my awaiting jolt of coffee. I turned off the pot as it was done, and went in search of Bubba. Guess what! Drum role please—no bubba. I searched high and low in every nook and cranny of my kitchen, not that there’s many nooks and crannies in my kitchen to start with, and still no bubba. The only thing I learned from this search is that I have entirely too much Bacardi rum and different brands of Vodka in my house. I need a new hobby. But I digress. So, I finally resigned myself to the fact that even though I had made an entire pot of coffee, I was going to have to use one of my lidless coffee mugs, which is much smaller, and I would only get the amount of coffee I’d have time to drink before parastranded showed up; thus waisting practically an entire pot of coffee. After resigning myself to this fact, I made a vow that war was eminent. I would begin my battle with my refrigerator when I got home.
Now, my refrigerator works. Don’t get me wrong. But, it’s a big and clunky thing, and won’t go all the way in between my counter and part of the wall on the other side, so it sticks out. This usually isn’t a problem, accept that the reason it won’t go in is because there’s something sticking out on the back of it, on the bottom that prevents it from doing so. The result is a huge space between the back wall, and the fridge. Therefore, when something falls off of that counter, it is lost forever behind sed fridge until I have either a chair or a loving boyfriend to boost me up so I can reach the missing object. Don’t make me tell the bread story, please.
All day long at work I suffered from an ear worm. All I kept hearing was Cheech and Chong’s “Basketball Jones.” only Basketball was replaced with Tim Horton’s coffee.
So, after returning from work and doing one more search through my tupperwar cupboard and make-shift bar, I began planning my stratagy. I started with the dining room chair. I got up on sed chair, tried to reach between the wall and the fridge, and no go. I don’t have inspector Gaget arms, unfortunately, so I just couldn’t reach the floor from that angle. So then I decided to try and use my dust pan as a scoop. From assessing the situation with my broom, I discovered that there were coke cans back there anyway, so I figured I needed to get them out before something weird happened and they melted or something. So I grabbed Mr. Dust pan, got back on the chair and did my search again, only with my arm twisted in weird ways this time so I can move the dust pan. That was no go either, as my right upper trapezius was starting to get really pissy with me, because it was knotting up. So I knew then, after massaging sed trapezius, that I needed to think of a new strategy. I dismissed Mr. dust pan and Mr. Chair, and decided to face this battle woman to fridge alone. I unplugged old mike, grabbed my fridge on both sides, and began twisting and pulling. Luckily, I have lenolium flors, so it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Plus, I have no more psycho downstairs neighbor to protest and get pissy at me for making too much noise. I pulled my fridge out enough that I had room to squeeze between it and the counter, and, dum-dum-dum—low and behold—there, sitting pretty as you please, was my good and faithful servant, bubba, right there in plain view. I retrieved him, and then commenced to the task of putting things back where they were before this whole battle started. So, I now have bubba again, although he could use a bath, and my fridge is back in it’s place, standing against the wall in defeat, and old Mike is plugged back in and in working order. My only casualty? Well, that would be the soar shoulder, and right side of neck due to very pissy trapezius.
As I finished pushing the enemy back in it’s place, I said, “Who needs a man when I’ve got strong arms and can battle this alone?” But then I thought about it, and realized that there are many many other reasons why I keep James around, and decided I would still continue to do so. Besides, he’s my connection when I want to score some more Tim Hortons coffee.

As some of you know I have battled for many years with my spirituality. I wasn’t raised in any religion, but went to church a few times as a child, and with my grandmother sometimes as a teenager. It was helpful in getting me out of the house, and interacting with people who weren’t either screaming or under two feet tall, but spiritually, I just wasn’t feelin it. So a friend of mine, at the time was heavily involved in paganism, mainly the Celtic religion. I was involved in that for a time, but was unable to find anyone to learn anything from, and was eventually sucked into christianity. Of course, I was lonely at the time, in my early twenties, and let myself get sucked in, but I digress. So I was in the baptist church for a while, and then was in the Church of Christ for a while. Don’t get me wrong. Most of the people in both places were absolutely awesome people, and became great friends. They supported me through a lot of good and bad times. But again, spiritually, I just wasn’t completely feelin it. I felt the celtic religion more, but again, had nobody around me who would teach me. My mother was a solitary wiccan, but hell, she used to get impatient with me when it came to helping with homework, I did not need that when learning things of a spiritual nature. So finally when I turned 25 I started to rethink my spirituality. I believe heavily in reincarnation. I don’t believe in Satan or hell, and I find it very disheartening that anyone would tell anyone they are “not saved.” or “lost.” or “born in sin.” How can anyone be born in sin when we didn’t do anything accept give our mother nine months of discomfort, then labor pains, then come out. LOL! I also found it depressing that people would say “This world is not my home.” and they would tell us, “Stay away from worldly things.” So I took a lot of heat from people about my giving up Christianity, including my husband at the time.
So, when I was 26, I left everything I was familiar with, and changed my entire life. Unfortunately, I had a boyfriend who was very stifling, and I was unable to do as much spiritual soul searching as I would have liked, but when he wasn’t looking, I did some. I even began seeing an empathic healer who helped considerablly, and allowed me to be open about my beliefs and my way of looking at things. I don’t see her anymore, but talking to her helped me to do my own thinking and to open up and allow my spirit guides to get through to me finally. I had closed myself off from that for so long that it was a shock when I finally started to feel and hear them again.
So now, I’m hoping to find teachers or mintors who are patient enough to teach someone like me certain things like taro and magic; especially using stones. I’ve done some work on learning numerology, so I’d also like to get more into that. I believe we’re all given gifts, and yes, I understand that some people use them for their own personal gain or for evil, but I want to be able to help someone heal; not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.
OK, so that was the background to what I’m about to post about. The other day, I was supposed to get together with my friend, Heather, for a taro reading, and I wanted to show her the taro cards I’d purchased a couple years ago, and hadn’t had much of a chance to play with. I posted it to twitter that I was having a taro reading. I got a lot of encouraging words, which was fine, but I had one person who I’d known for years say that taro was “dangerous” and that they were praying for my salvation. First of all, I have a problem with the belief that using taro cards to communicate with spirit guides is dangerous. I don’t believe in Satan and I don’t believe in demons. Second of all, who is anyone to judge? Who is anyone to tell anyone they’re “lost” like they’re not good enough because of the way they communicate with the spirit world. Then, a couple days later, I’m to discover that this person actually physically hurt a couple of cats by picking them up and squeezing them. Now, guys, that, I know is wrong. I’m not going to go into the context behind why they hurt the cats, but the point is that the act was done, and I can’t imagine a loving person believing in a loving god hurting animals like that. I’m well aware that we’re not perfect, and we do sometimes go against our beliefs when something out of the ordinary happens, or in order to be open minded and learn something, but I don’t think that hurting animals accomplishes either one.
There were many reasons why I left organized religion, but the hipocracy, for example, what I saw concerning the cats, and my taro reading was a big reason. I don’t like someone telling me that my life is dangerous, and that my life isn’t good enough because I don’t believe the way someone told this person they had to believe, and then going and putting animals in danger themselves. That just really bothers me.

On my LJ, I’ve blogged about some of my interesting neighbors, from the psycho that lived below me, who used to bang on my ceiling at all hours of the day, when I would vaccuume, or even just walk the wrong way on my floor, to the screaming girl above me with the dynomite sex partner to the jazz piano player next door to the guy across the hall with the jealous girlfriend. Well, apparently, we’ve seemed to have gotten rid of psycho downstairs neighbor, and have acquired somebody who apparently knows how to score some really strong weed. Tonight, I went down to get my last load of laundry, and I think they’d just gotten home, because I heard them coming in the door before. I opened the door at the bottom of the stairs, and I could have swore Cheech and chong had moved in down there. I was waiting to hear Sister Mary elephant, or Cheech saying “everybody chares stuff, man” or Ashley roach clip. I came up here, and suddenly I had the munchies and thought everything was funny. Yay for contact highs that you don’t have to pay for! Wonder if I should go down there, knock, and tell them I’m Dave. Anyone want to dare me?

Anyone that knows me knows at least two things about me. 1, I’m a self diagnosed and self proclaimed food whore, and 2, I am always willing to think outside the box and try new things. For years I’ve heard various things about sushi. Either it was nasty, because it was raw fish and could get you sick, or it was the most awesome thing next to sex. So my friend, Heather and I got to texting one day during my lunch about where we all could go out to eat that night while James was still here. I told her I wanted to try sushi, sense people were either totally grossed out by it, or totally enamoured by it. There was never any in between. James wasn’t too keen on the idea, as his sense of adventure seemed to have gone off to some plannet in the neighboring universe. So Heather and I decided that we’d wait until he was gone, and we ended up doing steak that particular night.
So last week, I asked when we were getting together again, and she said that she had some friends coming in from out of town, and they were planning on doing sushi. So I was all over that one. First off, I had to get past the fact that this particular restaurant refered to something spicey as “spank me.” Then, I had to decide what I wanted. I never was much of a fish eater, safe for salmon, tuna, and maybe cat fish if I was in the mood for it. I love my seafood, however. I had never tried squid, or eel, so I knew it was going to be hard to figure out. So I finally decided on the smoked salmon roll, the crunchy tuna roll, and the killer shrimp roll with that wasabi on it. Wasabi is a lot like horse raddish, and I absolutely love horse raddish, so I figured I’d be at home. When the rolls are brought out, you get chop sticks, which I have never had any experience with, and our plate is nothing more than a block of wood with these leggie things on the bottom. All the rolls everybody ordered came on one big ji-normous block of wood, that they placed in the middle of the table. The rolls were cut up into eight pieces, so Heather had to get mine for me, so I wouldn’t go grabbing everybody else’s. As a result of this, I got to try a piece of somebody’s squid roll, and somebody’s “spank me” eel roll. So you can safely say I got spanked. And what’s more, when you order drinks, they give you a little plate full of ginger leaves. I wanted to try some straight ginger, so I grabbed what I thought was a small piece, and ended up getting the jolt of my life. Note to self, Only eat one leaf of ginger.
All in all, it turned out to be an awesome meal, and an experience I’m sure I’ll be trying again. I was so stuffed after all that that I didn’t have room for desert. I would have loved to have found out what they had for deserts. I heard something about fried ice cream. Maybe I’ll get that next time. As for the rolls, I might do the eel next time, because it tasted awesome. I also might see with the crab and lobster ones taste like.

Our last night of the year wasn’t too spectacular. We didn’t go to time square and we didn’t do strip dances for everyone we met. Nor did we have hot sex while the ball dropped for all to see. You couldn’t pay me or give me enough alcohol for that. LOL! But it did turn out to be a good quiet dramaless night.
I guess it all started the night before when James discovered he still had some rum from one of my last visits that we hadn’t finished. We decided to start our celebration that night, because, quite simply, we could. So I think I’d had about four drinks before we unfortunately hit the bottom of the bottle. James decided at random that he was going to stay completely awake until after midnight last night. I thought he was crazy, but I knew he could do it, because quite honestly, that man never gets tired. So I was able to get a good buzz on, we turned on Jango and just hung around here until we were able to get the In Death book we were reading off of send space. He turned it on, and for the next few hours, I dozed, dreaming about Eve and Roarke, and listening to Peabuddy and McNab fighting, and me not being able to stop it. Finally, James decided he wanted to do something on the computer, so I figured I’d try to catch a few hours of futuristic NYPD free sleep. Unfortunately, I was only able to catch an hour, but I felt rested.
So we ended up hanging around here for a few hours, until his mom called and asked us to come over for speghetti and moovies. They were watching his nephew, so we knew it was going to be jsut a quiet evening. We ended up watching three moovies before I finally got too tired to even think. We watched the Hangover again, which was funny as hell. We also watched The Ghosts of girlfriends’ past. I thought it was allright. Then there was the proposal, which I thought could have been better. It was one of those moovies that some people who think stupid is funny. I actually slept threw some of it.
Today was spent just hanging around. I finally finished the last book in the In Death series, so I think I’m going to start on the Stephanie Plum books now. Tonight, we ended up going out for Chinese food with his family. I didn’t really like the food all that much, but then again, I never was much of a fan of Chinese food to begin with. Other than accidently practicly shoving James’s dad half way across the restaurant, the night went pretty well.
Now, I think we’re just going to do some computer things, and find a moovie on paid perview. I’ve only got one more full day here , soI’m going to try and make the best of it.
TTFN!

Merry Christmas all! It’s been a good week with the acception of this head/ear thing I can’t quite put my finger on. I did get birthday and Christmas cards from my mom and my grandmother. James gave me a little sweater, and a bracelet, His parents gave me a stephen king audio book, a candle, and some chai tea. (see, heather, I spelled it right) His grandparents gave me some chocolates, and some good thick winter socks.
It’s been a quiet relaxing few days so far, and I’m catching up on sleep and downtime and feeling better and better each day. Not sure what we’re doing for new years, but I will blog about it whatever it turns out to be.

OK, so things were pretty crazy there for a while, and I haven’t had much of a chance to post. James and his family keep things pretty interesting when I’m here, and before that things were pretty crazy preparing for Christmas and things.
OK, so for those who are curious as to how my birthday turned out,, well, other than the fact I was reminded that in only two more years, I’ll be at the age where I’ll need to have cancer screenings every six months, including mamograms, and I’ll be at “high risk” if I get pregnant–blablablablabla, it turned out OK. Believe it or not, I didn’t sleep well the night before for various reasons, including what I thought was going to be a pretty nasty ear infection or head cold. I had to be reminded that it was my birthday. I usually never have to be reminded. Usually I set my clock for 6:06 AM., no matter how bad I hate mornings. It was the time I was born, so whatcha want. But I didn’t do that this time. I got up at my usual time, for work, Yes, I worked on my birthday, another first, and was presented with my first birthday gift from James. They say dynomite comes in small packages. Well, I thought it was going to be dynomite when I got through the paper and the two boxes and found the ring. Turns out, he had figured out what my birth stone was, which is the blue topaz. It’s a little triangular-shaped stone, not much bigger than the tip of my fifth tow on top of a silver band. OK, maybe smaller. Anyway, so I digress. He unfortunately did not figure out my ring size, so it doesn’t fit my ring finger, but nearly falls off my pinky. So we’re going to get that sized at some point.
I got to work, and we ended up having our gift-exchange/potluck extravaganza, and I recieved a nice birthday card with everybody’s signatures. Candi gave me some oil and body wash from scentasttics, and even Candi’s mom got me a gift, which I wasn’t expecting. I also got my gift from my secret santa, which was some potpory and some chocolates.
When I got home, we relaxed a bit, so that we wouldn’t get to my favorite restaurant and have to wait until the second coming for a table. I’d made it clear to James that I wanted two things for my birthday this year; an ice cream cake, and dinner at the Dinosaur barbicue. I didn’t get the ice cream cake no matter how hard I tried to plead my case, but I did get my awesome barbicue with my sex on the beach drinks that they’re so good at making. We also got a bonus that night. Apparently there was a live band scheduled to perform late that night, so we decided to stick around for that. It was blues, which I dont’t normally listen to much of, but hey, it was free and unexpected, so we both figured why not. We stuck around for a good portion of it, but I decided we needed to get home, as I needed to be up early for work the next day.
I heard from my mom that night as well, so that was good. My uncle wished me happy birthday on facebook, and surprisingly, so did a couple of my classmates.
It was all around a good day. I just hope the next year is a little less gruling than this last one. I’ll sure be glad to have my life back, and the time to relax and get it all in order.

Last week was a long one for me. Even though I’d finished with all the papers, quizzes and exams, and homework, I still had to run all over the place inbetween my fulltime job and class. So I was most definitely ready for the weekend. I felt bad, because I was so tired with all the running around, that I barely had any energy to spend time with James when I got home. I felt like he came across the border for a month to visit me, and I was neglecting him.
Thursday night was my graduation. It was a good day, because not only was I celebrating having made it through a very long and challenging fifteen month program, but I would finally have weekends to myself, evenings to myself, I could actually have that thing called a social life again, and I’d actually be able to sleep for more than a few hours.
I had to go over to the school right after work for their little closure ceremony, which included a little bonding circle, which I didn’t feel bonded to anyway, making a dream catcher with our circle out of string, and cutting the pieces so each of us could take our piece home, learning about the allumni association, and walking in between two lines of fellow classmates with our eyes closed so they can touch us and whisper things they probably didn’t mean. Then, we had to do our class picture, and take more pictures if we felt compelled to.
The ceremony was nice. We were presented with our deplomas, we had recognition for those who exceled in the class, Mike, our most spunky of the droup, gave a speach and read a rather interesting poem, and two of our hands-on instructors gave their own speaches. There was only one picture, and that was taken after the ceremony by my friend, Heather. I will be posting it at the end of this entry.
The night ended with Heather taking us both out for a drink. We ended up talking about different things, and I discovered that she and I had a lot in common. I’m hoping this could be a good friendship. Only time will tell, I guess.
Friday was just a quiet night here at home. We just hung around here, and I enjoyed the fact that this would be my first weekend of not having to worry about anything school related.
Saturday I did my usual routine of grocery shopping, and then, Kim and Julie came over for a little get-together to celebrate in our own way. Of course alcohol was consumed, and I was already three sheets to the wind by the time they left. We hung around here acting crazy until I couldn’t stay awake any longer.
Yesterday, we slept in until sometime after two, then I got up and made breakfast. I can’t remember when the last time was I was able to do that. Then, I was unproductive for the rest of the day, finally mitivating myself to do laundry last night.
I know it sounds boring, but I wrote this to prove a point, besides the fact that I’m incoherent at 7:00 in the morning. This was my first weekend in a long time when I didn’t have to worry about studying for a test, doing homework, or working on a research paper. Of course, I have to study for the bords in January, but I’ll worry about that after new years. But for now, my birthday is coming up on Tuesday, Christmas is coming up, and I’m going back with James for new years. I’m just going to enjoy that. So without further explanation, I’m going to post the picture, and then call this an entry.

Well, since I’ve been harassed for the last few days or so to write my first blog post over here, I guess I should maybe kinda sorta do that before I go another week without doing it. I’m new at this whole word press thing, so just to warn you, there will be mistakes until I get it all figured out.
So I guess I should start by explaining whi I came up with parry-skitz. Well, You can blaim that on an old high school friend, who has conveniently fallen off the face of the plannet sometime in the last few years, so he can not be here to defend himself, as he came up with the name originally. He was someone I met while I was attending the Colorado Center for the Blind back in 1994. A bunch of us all got to be really good friends, and we picked up on each other’s little quarks. Ryan, this friend in question, decided that I worry entirely too much about everything. OK, well, maybe he’s half right, but I digress. So I don’t remember exactly when it started, but I just remember all summer long being called “parry-skitz” short for paranoid skitzofrenic, because he also knew that I was interested in psychology at the same time. Even long after, the name stuck, even though the friendship didn’t. So hopefully maybe one day, he might come across this and remember. Who knows.
I will be posting an “about me” page eventually with more of a detailed biography and I hope to post as often as I can. I just finished and graduated from massage therapy school, and will be taking the state bords in January, so I’m hoping to have more time to come up with thing to post about. I’m a very spiritual person, and I do a lot of deep spiritual thinking, and I’d like to be able to discuss that in more detail over here. My entries will still be posted to my LJ account, but I’ve made it so that people can comment here if they’d like to.
So, with that, I’m going to call this my first post, see if I can’t find something constructive to do, and be back tomorrow with another post.