Life in the Nuthouse

Dearest facebook
Just when I think you can’t possibly be more inaccessible, and more of a pain in all parts of my anatomy including parts I do not have, You rise to the occasion. I just need to know one thing here. Why is it that just because I may log in on a different computer, I automaticly a hacker? Am I that much of a bad girl that you have to make me go through a bunch of stupid, moronic, and rediculous hoops just so I can be told that I have to come back in an hour, because you don’t like my answers. I don’t go on face book much as it is, because you’ve got your site so bloody convaluted that going there makes my whole body quiver in pain after I’m done with what I need to do on there. Now, in order to log in from another computer, I have to look at pictures I can’t see, and try to tell you who I think they are. First of all, I used audio captia instead of the regular one. Did it occur to you that that was possibly because, um…I couldn’t see the regular captia. Did it ever occur to you that if I can’t see the regular captia, I won’t be ablle to make out the pictures? Also, even if I could see them, Some of those people, while I’ve ben in touch with them for years, I have no earthly idea what they look like. What ever happened to the old fassioned security questions? Why do we have to be shut out because you’ve got us doing things we can’t do? It’s just another computer, folks. I’m not a freaking hacker. Get a bloody clue, oh dearest facebook airheads, and fix your broken site.
No love
Your neighborhood annoyance.

On Sunday night, I decided to say hi to someone I hadn’t talked to in a couple months, because she happened to be on MSN. She’s the girlfriend of a guy I’ve known for about sixteen or seventeen years or so, who has been in and out of my life, therefore we haven’t really gotten all that close as of late. I joined an email list last year, that they both happen to be on, and was introduced to her. She and I chat every once in a while on MSN, but it’s not like we’re best friends or anything.
Anyway, this particular night, I happened to be talking about taking the boards and then about my plans for the future. I happened to mention that I wanted to first, find someone to work for here, save mone, then eventually once James gets more settled with a permanent job, move up there. Her responce went something like this: “You’re going to go through all that hard work, then go to Canada?” Of course, I said yes, and do massage once I get to Canada. Then, she had to ask if James was working. I told her that he was having a hell of a time finding work so far, and that was why I’m not in a harry hurry to just randomly jump ship. Then, she started in about how there are no blindness programs or organizations in Canada. I informed her that James was not looking for a blindness related job, he’s looking for a tech job. Then she told em that there were no job services at all in Canada, and that if you aren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you’re treated pretty patheticly in her book. Apparently, she is of the mindset that one has to hook up with a blindness organization to do *anything* James and I are both perfectly capable of writing resumes, sending them to potential employers, and going to interviews. We don’t need some organization breathing down our backs, just because our eyes don’t work. Besides, half the organizations I’ve seen don’t even go out into the community and educate companies about adaptive technology, or blindness skills anyway. They learn from the individual person in interviews, and if they do get hired, they learn by watching them work.
This person thinks she’s trying to discourage me, because she is a canadian citizen who moved to the states, while her boyfriend, who she’s living with, works out of the home, and might lose the job he has. She and her boyfriend have told me, “Don’t think with your emotions.” When she’s the one who moved down there to be with him. Can we say hipocracy, boys and girls?
So yes, I’m going to stay with my plan, if I pass, and I still don’t know if I did, work for someone or keep the job I have now, save money, wait for James to find gainful employment, then make my move. Yes, I’m going to have to take editional tests once I get there to be licensed there, but they also might have me take editional classes, and oh, gee! I might learn something new> That would be horrible. As far as girlie, well, if she has a grudge about blindness services, or lack there of, in Canada, it’s a personal problem. But don’t sit there and tell me what to do and browbeat me because I have my own plans.

As some of you know I have battled for many years with my spirituality. I wasn’t raised in any religion, but went to church a few times as a child, and with my grandmother sometimes as a teenager. It was helpful in getting me out of the house, and interacting with people who weren’t either screaming or under two feet tall, but spiritually, I just wasn’t feelin it. So a friend of mine, at the time was heavily involved in paganism, mainly the Celtic religion. I was involved in that for a time, but was unable to find anyone to learn anything from, and was eventually sucked into christianity. Of course, I was lonely at the time, in my early twenties, and let myself get sucked in, but I digress. So I was in the baptist church for a while, and then was in the Church of Christ for a while. Don’t get me wrong. Most of the people in both places were absolutely awesome people, and became great friends. They supported me through a lot of good and bad times. But again, spiritually, I just wasn’t completely feelin it. I felt the celtic religion more, but again, had nobody around me who would teach me. My mother was a solitary wiccan, but hell, she used to get impatient with me when it came to helping with homework, I did not need that when learning things of a spiritual nature. So finally when I turned 25 I started to rethink my spirituality. I believe heavily in reincarnation. I don’t believe in Satan or hell, and I find it very disheartening that anyone would tell anyone they are “not saved.” or “lost.” or “born in sin.” How can anyone be born in sin when we didn’t do anything accept give our mother nine months of discomfort, then labor pains, then come out. LOL! I also found it depressing that people would say “This world is not my home.” and they would tell us, “Stay away from worldly things.” So I took a lot of heat from people about my giving up Christianity, including my husband at the time.
So, when I was 26, I left everything I was familiar with, and changed my entire life. Unfortunately, I had a boyfriend who was very stifling, and I was unable to do as much spiritual soul searching as I would have liked, but when he wasn’t looking, I did some. I even began seeing an empathic healer who helped considerablly, and allowed me to be open about my beliefs and my way of looking at things. I don’t see her anymore, but talking to her helped me to do my own thinking and to open up and allow my spirit guides to get through to me finally. I had closed myself off from that for so long that it was a shock when I finally started to feel and hear them again.
So now, I’m hoping to find teachers or mintors who are patient enough to teach someone like me certain things like taro and magic; especially using stones. I’ve done some work on learning numerology, so I’d also like to get more into that. I believe we’re all given gifts, and yes, I understand that some people use them for their own personal gain or for evil, but I want to be able to help someone heal; not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.
OK, so that was the background to what I’m about to post about. The other day, I was supposed to get together with my friend, Heather, for a taro reading, and I wanted to show her the taro cards I’d purchased a couple years ago, and hadn’t had much of a chance to play with. I posted it to twitter that I was having a taro reading. I got a lot of encouraging words, which was fine, but I had one person who I’d known for years say that taro was “dangerous” and that they were praying for my salvation. First of all, I have a problem with the belief that using taro cards to communicate with spirit guides is dangerous. I don’t believe in Satan and I don’t believe in demons. Second of all, who is anyone to judge? Who is anyone to tell anyone they’re “lost” like they’re not good enough because of the way they communicate with the spirit world. Then, a couple days later, I’m to discover that this person actually physically hurt a couple of cats by picking them up and squeezing them. Now, guys, that, I know is wrong. I’m not going to go into the context behind why they hurt the cats, but the point is that the act was done, and I can’t imagine a loving person believing in a loving god hurting animals like that. I’m well aware that we’re not perfect, and we do sometimes go against our beliefs when something out of the ordinary happens, or in order to be open minded and learn something, but I don’t think that hurting animals accomplishes either one.
There were many reasons why I left organized religion, but the hipocracy, for example, what I saw concerning the cats, and my taro reading was a big reason. I don’t like someone telling me that my life is dangerous, and that my life isn’t good enough because I don’t believe the way someone told this person they had to believe, and then going and putting animals in danger themselves. That just really bothers me.